It is not what you say; it is how you say it. While you can control how you deliver a message, you can not control how it is received. At times, the issue lies not in the delivery but in the individual’s ability to receive it. Effective communication requires being mindful of your approach and managing your expectations. A key part of this is communicating assertively and recognizing that everyone has their limitations.
Manage Your Expectations
Think of communication as using a vending machine. Have you ever tried to put a dollar into a vending machine, and it rejected it? The dollar may have been fine, but the machine might have been out of service. Similarly, when you communicate, some people have limitations that prevent them from receiving your message—no matter how clear or well-intentioned it may be.
Develop An Assertive Approach
One of the most common limitations people face is defensiveness, which is why delivery matters. If you shove a dollar into a vending machine or try to force a crumpled one in, it may get jammed. Similarly, if you communicate aggressively or unclearly, you risk triggering defensiveness, which makes it harder for the message to be received. An assertive approach that is clear, respectful, and concise is more likely to be received.
Recognize People’s Limitations
It’s natural to want others to hear and understand your message, but some people have limitations. Rather than focusing on their response, consider refining your delivery. Being assertive is effective—even when the message isn’t immediately received.