Triggers are often an indication of unresolved trauma. However, not many people recognize they are triggered and react instead of responding. When managing triggers, it is better to be proactive instead of reactive. You can do this by identifying your triggers, engaging in positive self-talk, disengaging from the triggers, setting boundaries, staying grounded, and finding support through individualized and group therapy.
What Are Triggers?
One of the first steps to managing triggers is knowing what they are. A trigger is a stimulus that causes a painful memory to resurface. Internal triggers include a memory, physical sensation, or an emotion. External triggers are people, places, or specific situations.
Identifying Your Triggers?
Understanding your triggers is the first step to managing them. For example, dating anxiety can be an internal trigger, while being rejected by someone can be an external trigger. Take time to identify your triggers to prepare yourself when they occur.
The Power of Positive Self-Talk
Developing positive self-talk is one way to manage triggers. Remind yourself that rejection does not determine your value. If you’re feeling anxious about getting close to someone, remind yourself that it’s okay to be scared and that you can work through these fears and build meaningful relationships. While positive affirmations are great, they are not the only way to manage triggers.
Disengaging from Triggers
Another way to deal with triggers is to disengage. You might be triggered during conflict when someone raises their voice. It could remind you of the constant discord you experienced going up. You might have grown up in a household where conflict was resolved with aggression, making yelling a trigger for you. The trigger might also stem from the trauma of a prior toxic relationship. In situations where you feel unsafe, it is okay to disengage from the trigger. By doing so, you are setting a boundary.
Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is another effective way to handle triggers. It’s about creating limits that safeguard your well-being. Yelling, for instance, can be particularly triggering for those with a history of trauma. If you’ve faced or seen abuse, an aggressive tone is threatening. It is crucial to establish a boundary that encourages respectful dialogue. You could express this by saying, “I feel uncomfortable when you raise your voice at me and I need you to lower your tone when we communicate.”
Staying Grounded in the Present
One simple but not always easy way to deal with triggers is to remain present. Often, a trigger can take you back to a painful memory that happened in the past. One way to cope is to take a few deep breaths and focus on grounding yourself in the present moment. Remind yourself you are safe now. Taking deep breaths can help calm your mind and lessen the intensity of your emotions. It also allows you to disconnect from the past triggers and center yourself so that you can gain a sense of control.
Seeking Professional Support
Managing some triggers can be hard on your own, and that’s when therapy can come in handy. Triggers can be linked to trauma, so dealing with them usually means delving into past experiences in a safe and supportive setting. Trauma isn’t something you can simply get over; it often requires the guidance of a licensed therapist to work through it. This process is crucial to healing and building effective coping mechanisms. Another option involves joining a support group, where sharing your story and connecting with others can help you heal.
Final Thoughts
Everyone has triggers, and understanding yours can help you respond better. Since trauma is often associated with triggers, it’s crucial to be proactive rather than reactive. You can do this by identifying your triggers, engaging in positive self-talk, disengaging from the triggers, setting boundaries, staying grounded, working with a therapist, or joining a support group. Being triggered doesn’t have to take you back. It can move you forward with the right tools.