Mental Inventory

When you look at your life, are you happy with where you are? If you answered no, have you ever considered the beliefs that might be holding you back? Limiting beliefs can be detrimental to you achieving your goals and dreams. I want to help you identify common beliefs that may prevent you from having the life you want. 

Belief 1: Things Will Never Change

When you get used to things not going your way, it is easy to believe that is how it will always be. You desire change, but you do not believe it is possible. Often, change starts with you. It requires you to change before you can see the change around you. No matter how long things have been a certain way, the possibility for change is always there. Believe that things can change—and that you have the power to make it happen.

Belief 2: I Will Be Happy When….

You might think you’ll be happy when you meet the right person, land that promotion, or buy a house. But what is stopping you from being happy right now? Because external things only play a small percentage in our happiness. The happiness you cultivate from within has a greater impact. There is nothing wrong with wanting more, but I believe it is important to understand that long-term happiness comes from within.

You can experience more happiness by being grateful for what you have right now. You can also increase your happiness by making choices that align with your values, not a particular outcome. Consider what values you want to prioritize more in your life. Instead of depending on external things to make you happy, consider some choices you can make today that will make you happier. 

Belief 3: Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness

While being ambitious and independent are great qualities, there are times when reaching out for support is necessary. It is okay to ask for help, and it does not make you less capable. When you ask for help, it allows you to learn and grow. By seeking guidance, you gain the support of those who have already achieved what you’re striving for. Instead of seeing help as a weakness, see it as a strength. You recognize you want to grow and are willing to learn from others. That sounds like a strength to me. 

Belief 4: I Should Be Further Along 

This belief often stems from the regret you have about the past. You might regret not working on a particular goal sooner. Instead of dwelling on the past, learn from it. Recognize that you did your best and be grateful for the opportunity to do better. Each day you have can be another day you can work towards getting to where you want to be. You might believe that you should be further along, but maybe you are exactly where you are meant to be. At this moment, you have a clear sense of where you want to go and can start taking steps to get there.

Belief 5: My Worth Is External

If I asked what makes you worthy, where would your mind go? Does it go to how attractive you are, how many friends you have, the car you drive, the amount of money you make, or your significant other? While these things can add value to your life, they don’t add value to who you are. These are all external things and are subject to change at any moment. Thankfully, your worth is internal and it doesn’t change. You are worthy because you are a living being. As long as you are alive, you will always be worthy.

New Beliefs 

Your beliefs shape the way you experience life. If you find that you are not experiencing the life you want, examine your beliefs. Recognize beliefs that may be limiting you and replace them with new beliefs that serve you in a powerful way. You can change your life by changing what you believe about yourself. Here are some new beliefs I hope you can adopt.

• I am capable of change
• My worth is innate
• I am where I am meant to be
• I can cultivate happiness from within
• Asking for help is a strength

Photo by Arina Krasnikova from Pexels

Reflecting on my life, I feel content with where I am. But I remember a time when I wasn’t. I believed that life would be better if things went my way. Although external circumstances can impact our happiness, they do so only to a small degree. I eventually realized that if I wanted to experience lasting happiness, I needed to take accountability for my choices.

Taking Accountability

I am responsible for where I am. Yes, there were things I could not control, but I was in control of my choices. Avoiding the unknown kept me stuck in what I knew. Not communicating my needs led to unfulfilling relationships. Doubting myself prevented me from taking risks. Holding on to old beliefs hindered my growth. If I wanted better, I had to make better choices.

Making Good Choices

I remember how quitting a toxic job opened the door to a better career. Starting my blog allowed me to live out my purpose. Ending a friendship sparked self-discovery and growth. These choices aligned with the life I wanted to live. I made them because I believed I deserved better.

Changing My Beliefs

I did not always believe I could have what I wanted. I didn’t always believe I was worthy of it. I didn’t always believe I could change. These beliefs led me to make choices that didn’t align with what I wanted. If I wanted to change where I was, I had to make a new choice. If I wanted to make a new choice, I had to change how I saw myself. If I wanted to change how I saw myself, I had to believe I was worthy. 

Knowing My Values

I have learned that inner happiness comes from making choices that align with my values. While knowing my values is one thing, living them out in my daily life is another. I’m becoming more accountable for what truly matters to me and now understand which values I need to prioritize. I see how my values are instrumental in guiding me to make better decisions, and I am actively learning to make choices that align with what I value most.

Takeaway

I realized that I have the power to change my life, and it started with being accountable for my choices. Below are questions I have found helpful in evaluating my life and choices. I hope you can recognize how powerful choices are and create a life you are worthy of having. 

• What choices have I made to get to where I want to be? 
• What choices can I make to get to where I want to be? 
• What choices have I made prevent me from getting to where I want to be? 
• What values do I need to prioritize more in my life? 
• What beliefs are preventing me from having the life I want? 
• What beliefs can help me create the life I want?
• How well do my choices align with my top values? 

Sadness is a feeling that many people find uncomfortable to experience. It is known as one of the negative emotions we have as human beings. But sadness is just an emotion. Sure, it is uncomfortable, but it serves a purpose. I am learning that sadness can remind me of what I need and want. When processing an emotion like sadness, it is helpful to acknowledge sadness, identify the cause, reframe your perspective, practice gratitude, focus on your values, and get support. 

Allow Yourself to Feel Sad

Sadness can feel so uncomfortable that you might want to avoid it. I will admit I don’t like to feel sad, but I realize that it is an emotion that serves a function. When I feel sad, I recognize that it can be a reminder of what matters to me. One of the first things you can do to self-regulate your emotions is to acknowledge them. You might judge an emotion like sadness as negative. The judgment you have about certain emotions may prevent you from processing them. Instead, see emotions as an opportunity to gain insight. Emotions are also temporary. Once you get the information you need, you can allow it to serve you.

Give Context to Your Sadness

One of the most common reasons people feel sad is because of loneliness. I recognize that the sadness I was experiencing was reminding me that I needed to prioritize social connections. When processing sadness, it is helpful to identify experiences that may be causing this feeling. Other common reasons people feel sad are due to a breakup, the death of a loved one, job loss, or life changes. Consider journaling your feelings and the reasons behind them.

Reframe Your Perspective

The way you think affects the way you feel. You can change how you feel by asking yourself what is another way I can see this? You might be sad about a recent breakup, but have you considered the lessons you learned from the relationship? You can take what you learn into your new relationship and create an even better experience. It is also important to recognize how you feel is temporary. You feel sad right now. Adding right now to the end of this sentence can help you recognize that it is not permanent. You can take action to change how you feel. 

Focus on Your Values 

Sadness can remind you what you need and want more of in life. For example, feeling sad about the end of a relationship can remind you that you value meaningful connections. You can find ways to get this value met by taking actions that help you to build meaningful connections. Consider joining clubs or activities that interest you, attending social events, and spending time with friends and family.

Practice Gratitude 

Practicing gratitude is another way you can change your perspective. Write down 5-10 things you are grateful for. This practice can foster a more positive outlook, which can help you feel better. By shifting your attention to something positive, you are changing your focus. When you change your focus to something more positive, you feel more empowered to take action to fix what is causing you sadness.

Get Support

If you’re struggling, reach out to family and friends for support. Although you feel alone, you are not alone. People want to support you. Admitting when you feel sad allows others to help you. If you notice your sadness persists for longer than two weeks, it might be time to seek professional help from a therapist.

Final Takeaway

Sadness is an emotion that may not be easy to process. However, it is an emotion that serves as a function to guide you back to what you need. If you want this guidance, be willing to sit in the discomfort. It might be hard, but acknowledge your sadness. Next, write down what is causing you sadness. Then, reframe your perspective. You can do this by focusing on the lessons and practicing gratitude. Last but not least, reach out for support. You are not alone, and there is help available for you. 

Everyone has a comfort zone, but many people find it challenging to step outside of it. If you are not careful, you can allow your need for comfort to hold you back. Consequently, you might miss out on opportunities that can help you to grow. Or you might even miss out on having an exciting life. It is okay to feel uncomfortable, but do not allow it to get in the way of where you want to be. To experience love, success, and fulfillment, stepping out of your comfort zone is essential. While I acknowledge the importance of this, I also understand that it can be challenging. The key is to be comfortable being uncomfortable. 

Accept The Discomfort

Some people stay in their comfort zone because they dislike feeling uncomfortable. It can be the fear of the unknown that holds them back. You might have a good life, but you want more. You want to feel fulfilled, but you are afraid of going after what you want because you do not want to be disappointed. You might even be bored with your day-to-day routine, but it is familiar. You would rather stay in what you know than what you do not know. The first step to leaving your comfort zone is accepting the discomfort.

What If?

You might want to try something new, but think, “What if I don’t like it? What if I have a bad experience? What if it does not go the way I planned? What if I fail?” These thoughts often give you a sense of control over the outcome, but you can not always control what happens. You can control your thoughts and, more importantly, which thoughts you focus on. Imagine if you replaced those negative scenarios with positive outcomes instead.

Shift Your Mindset 

When you feel uncomfortable, it can be easy to imagine things going wrong. But have you ever considered that things can go well? Often, your anxiety can keep you safe from potential threats. But then there are other times it keeps you from your potential. The way you think affects the way you behave. If you want to feel more confident, it starts with thinking more helpful and positive thoughts. Replace “What if I fail”? with “What if I succeed?” “What if I have a bad experience?” with “What if I have a good experience?” When you have a more positive outlook, you can push past the discomfort to get where you want to be. 

Develop a Growth Mindset 

Although you can have a positive mindset, that does not guarantee that the outcome will go your way. Sometimes, you can have a positive outlook and be disappointed. I believe people stay in their comfort zone because they believe they can not handle the disappointment. That is known as a fixed mindset. Although you have limitations, you are capable of growth. You can develop your skills. You can change your mindset. You can change your behavior. You can go beyond who you are and become who you want to be. A growth mindset is allowing yourself to be better and do better. 

Practice Self-Compassion

When you practice self-compassion, you build your self-esteem. When you have high self-esteem, you have confidence in yourself. This confidence is essential to getting out of your comfort zone. It is also important to embrace your imperfections. Instead of being critical of yourself, be more understanding of who you are. Sometimes, you might revert to what is familiar because it is more comfortable. Be patient with yourself because change takes time. Acknowledge your progress instead of focusing on being perfect.

Be Consistent

If you make stepping outside your comfort zone a habit, it can become second nature. It can start small, like ordering something new for lunch. We are creatures of habit and wire to like what is familiar. The good news is that the more we get out of our comfort zone, the more it becomes familiar. The more familiar it becomes, the easier it is to become a new habit. Consider small ways you can get out of your comfort zone regularly. Keep track of each time you step outside your comfort zone. Reflecting on these moments can help you feel more confident and motivated to try new things.

Remember Your Why

I know how challenging it is to get outside your comfort zone, and anxiety has often prevented me from being open to trying new things. When I feel anxious, I consider why I am taking action to get out of my comfort zone. I recognize that the desire to reach a goal or experience something new is worth the discomfort. I want a fulfilling life, which means stepping outside my comfort zone. It does not necessarily mean it is easy, but it does hold me accountable for creating the life I want. Consider what you value most and allow this to motivate you to step out of your comfort zone. 

Final Thoughts 

I have a confession. I wrote this post to help me get outside my comfort zone. I understand firsthand how hard it can be. I also recognize that I am capable of getting past the discomfort and I believe you can too. The first key is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You can do this by shifting your mindset, developing a growth mindset, practicing self-compassion, staying consistent, and remembering the why.