Category: Self Discovery

We all have secrets—things we keep to ourselves or only share with a select few. Sometimes, we hide these secrets because we feel ashamed of something we did or said. The painful part is that these secrets can make us believe that there’s something inherently wrong with us. But the truth is, our shame often prevents us from embracing the full complexity of who we are. It’s in accepting all parts of ourselves that we begin to heal.

Shame Doesn’t Define You

The lie that shame tells us is that who we are is wrong rather than that what we did is wrong. There is a distinction between these two ideas. One defines you as a person, while the other focuses on your actions. You can change your behavior. Instead of being defined by what you did, get curious about why you acted the way you did. Allow yourself to be complex. For instance, you could have said something hurtful during an argument, and now you are judging yourself. Instead, take accountability for what you did, apologize, and choose to do better next time.

Embrace Imperfection

While one moment can be defining, it doesn’t determine who you are. You are more than your past mistakes. In life, you will make mistakes because you are not perfect. These mistakes are part of being human and do not define your worth. Shame may make you believe that your mistakes make you defective or inadequate, but remember, imperfections are a natural part of who you are—they do not make you less worthy.

Be Vulnerable

You might think hiding who you are keeps you safe. While that can be true to some extent, it can also prevent people from fully knowing who you are. What if you knew people would accept the parts of you that you’re ashamed of? The freedom to be yourself and to be loved just as you are is healing. It doesn’t have to start with a big secret. It can start with more openness and vulnerability about who you are.

Final Thoughts

Shame is not an easy emotion to deal with. However, it is something we experience at some point in life. You are not alone in this experience. I want you to know that shame doesn’t define you. Nothing is wrong with you. Allow yourself to be imperfect because that’s part of being human. Remember, you are always worthy.

There is one lesson that stands as the biggest thing I’ve learned. Learning that my worth is innate shifted how I view and feel about who I am. This realization has changed how I approach challenges, relationships, and opportunities. I am grateful to have learned this lesson and happy to share it with you. Now, I want to know what your biggest life lesson is.

My Worthy is Innate

I want to share this lesson with you because it can transform your life. The belief that my worth is innate wasn’t something I learned overnight. There was a time when I believed my worth had to be earned—through how I looked, what I could do, and who others expected me to be. With time, I learned that my worth is not dependent on external factors. It’s not something I have to earn; it’s already within me, awaiting discovery.

I Am Enough

I’ve realized my worth is inherent, not something I need to earn. My worth is defined by me, not by my successes or failures. I am worthy, regardless of what I can or cannot do. I also know that another person doesn’t determine my worth. If someone doesn’t like me, it doesn’t make me any less worthy. If someone can’t accept me, it doesn’t affect my self-worth. Who I am is enough for the right people.

I Am Already Valuable

Believing that my worth is innate is empowering because it makes me feel deserving of the life I want. I’m grateful that I recognized my worth before fulfilling my desires. If I had gotten what I wanted before understanding that my worth is inherent, I would have believed those things validated my value. While fulfilling my desires adds value to my life, it doesn’t add value to me, because I am already valuable. I realize that making my dreams a reality isn’t confirmation that I am enough. The only confirmation I need is already within me.

Final Takeaways

When you reflect on your biggest life lessons, I hope the lesson I shared will be one of many. Your worth isn’t something you need to earn; it’s something you realize. I hope you can discover your inherent worth. Now that I’ve shared my lesson, I hope you’ll feel inspired to share yours.

We all have goals in life, but how far ahead do you think about them? Do you know where you want to be one year from now? What about five years from now? While we can’t predict the future, we can plan for it. Imagine who you want to be, how you want to feel, and where you want to be five years from now. Once you have those answers, you’ll have a clear vision for your future.

The last time I wrote down long-term goals was in college. I didn’t enjoy thinking that far ahead. Whenever I did, I could only think of a few goals. Maybe you’re like me and don’t have a lot of goals either. But the number of goals doesn’t matter—it’s more about having a sense of what you want for the future. When you think about setting goals, consider what you want financially, personally, and professionally.

Who Do You Want to Be?

This question isn’t about changing who you are but growing into who you are. Like a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, think about the person you want to evolve into. The path to becoming your best version is transformative, but it can be uncomfortable. It’s not a quick process, so be patient with yourself. As long as you are making progress, that is all that matters.

How Do You Want to Feel?

While many people associate happiness with positive emotions, it’s just one of many. If you want excitement, you might need to step outside your comfort zone and try new things. Or perhaps peace is what you’re after, which might involve finding quiet moments throughout your day. Take time to reflect on all the emotions you want to experience and set goals that align with them. By doing this, you can start creating a life you feel good about.

Where Do You Want to Be?

You can answer this question from a professional, financial, or personal place. You might want to be married with kids. You might want to move to another state. You might want to get promoted at work. Or you might want to make more money. Depending on what stage you are at in life, where you want to be can change. Reflecting on where you want to be can serve as a roadmap to the life you want.

Final Thoughts

The next time you think about your goals, I want you to think long-term. Consider who you want to be, how you want to feel, and where you want to be five years from now. By reflecting on these goals, you can create a vision for your future. This vision will lead you toward creating the life you desire.

As children, we often turn to our parents for guidance and may still seek their wisdom as adults. But what if the answers we’re looking for are already within us? Sometimes, it takes reconnecting to our inner child to discover who we are and what we want. When we trust our inner compass, we begin to navigate the world in a way that reflects our authentic selves.

Curiosity

As we get older, we often lose the sense of curiosity we once had as children. Yet, this very curiosity may be what our adult selves are missing. We stop exploring and start fearing the unknown. As children, we were more open to learning new things, but as adults, we tend to prefer what we know over what we don’t. We forget the fun of not knowing. If we want to stay connected to who we are, curiosity is key.

Imagination

Children are said to have a vivid imagination. In their mind, they can be who they want to be and create the life they want to live. However, many adults stop imagining what might be possible for them. Some believe it is a waste of time to let their mind wander. But, our imagination could be reminding us of what we want. It is in these moments of wonder we rediscover our dreams. Daydreaming and creating a vision allows us to tap into our inner child and manifest our dreams.

Play Time

Naturally, we take on more responsibilities in adulthood, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun. Playtime is not just limited to children. Adults can have fun as well. Whether it’s engaging in a hobby, doing something spontaneous, or watching a funny TV show, these moments of joy help us recharge. Making time to laugh more is one of the best ways to stay connected with our inner child.

Resilience

Another thing that we can learn from our inner child is resilience. Kids are very determined when they want something. I believe some adults get discouraged more easily than kids. When we don’t get something we want right away, we give up. Children can be relentless when they don’t get what they want. We can learn from our inner child how to be tenacious. It isn’t about giving up when things don’t go our way. It is about staying persistent until we obtain what we desire.

Intuition

One thing I have noticed about children is their intuition. They can read people better than adults. It is like they are born with a sixth sense. While intuition never lies, many adults don’t always follow it. They rely on logic to make their decisions. But what makes logical sense isn’t always the best choice. If we learn to rely more on intuition, we can always make the best decision.

Final Takeaways

Often, we seek guidance from our parents and mentors, but the answers we need are within. Sometimes, connecting with our inner child can guide us down the right path. Our inner child teaches us to be curious, imaginative, playful, resilient, and intuitive. These are all powerful tools that we can use to guide us to who we want to be and where we want to go.

Sometimes, the things we might be attracted to might not be the best fit for us. Like shopping for new clothes, everything you try on might not fit. When you like something and recognize it doesn’t fit, be willing to let it go. You cannot miss out on what you want by waiting for it. You can miss out on what you want by holding on to something that doesn’t fit.

Let Go

I once saw a shirt that caught my eye because of its style and color. But when I tried it on, it did not fit. I would not have known that just by looking at it. This lesson can apply to opportunities and people you meet. You might take a job that seemed perfect on paper but later discover it is unfulfilling. Or you meet someone you like, but the more you get to know them, you recognize how incompatible you are. Instead of holding on, let go of what doesn’t fit you.

Be Patient

Sometimes, we fear letting go of what we have because we do not believe we can have better. You may fear missing out, so you settle for things that do not fit you. The possibility of having what you want is there if you are willing to wait. When you take time to wait, you are less likely to settle. You also create space to receive what you are waiting for. Even if what you want looks attractive, consider whether or not it’s a good fit. If you discover something or someone is not a good fit, let it go and wait for what you want.

I hope this post encourages you to wait for what you want and to let go of what doesn’t fit. You can fulfill your desires as long as you are willing to wait.

Imagine having a puzzle with missing pieces. It would be difficult to see the full image. Understanding who you are is about putting all the pieces together so you can see the big picture. When you judge parts of yourself, you limit what you see. Instead of being judgmental, practice self-compassion.

Accept Who You Are

Just like a puzzle, as humans, we have many pieces. Although we may not love every part of ourselves, accepting who we are is crucial. This concept is known as self-compassion. It involves creating space for your complexities. You can be more than one thing at the same time. You have many pieces, but if you separate parts of yourself you don’t like, you have an incomplete image of who you are. It is only when you bring all those pieces together you develop a solid sense of self.

Be Curious

What if you replaced judgment with curiosity? How much more could you love yourself? Self-love is more than saying “I love you” when you look in the mirror. It is about accepting everything about yourself and knowing who you are is enough. Self-love is about being curious and not judgmental. Consider the parts you don’t like about yourself and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this part of myself?”

Be Understanding

When we approach the parts of ourselves we tend to judge with curiosity, we can unlock deeper understanding. Consider what you can learn from the qualities you deem as unacceptable or unusual. You might recognize that you developed these qualities to protect yourself. Being protective of yourself is a helpful quality to have. By being more curious, you create space for self-acceptance.

Final Thoughts

A puzzle is incomplete if it has missing pieces. You need all the pieces of who you are to have a solid sense of self. Instead of judging, be curious and compassionate. This approach leads to a deeper understanding of who you are.

In life, I realize I haven’t taken many risks. I’ve often played it safe, afraid of the unknown. But recently, I’ve begun to see risk differently—not as something to fear, but as an opportunity to explore. Now that I view every risk as an opportunity, I find myself more open to stepping outside my comfort zone and embracing change. Taking risks in both your personal and professional life creates opportunities.

Shift Your Perspective

One common reason people avoid taking risks is because they fear the unknown. A risk creates uncertainty for many individuals, which causes them to stay in their comfort zone. This can look like someone ordering the same thing at a restaurant or staying at a job they do not love. Although I see the comfort in sticking to what is familiar, I also realize the possibilities that come with taking risks. The opportunity to explore can lead you to discover more things you love. 

Gain Insight

All risks don’t always lead to the outcome you desire. Maybe you took a risk in dating, and it didn’t work out. Or you invested money in something that didn’t pay off. While the outcome may have been disappointing, your willingness to be open will eventually lead you to what you desire. Sometimes, the lesson is the reward. You learn what you do not want and what you can do differently. You now have insight that can help you to move closer to what you want.

Explore Who You Are

If you find yourself unfulfilled in life, it could be due to a lack of adventure. You could have a great life, but is it exciting? Being open to taking risks brings novelty into your life. Imagine finding a new food you love or a new hobby that brings you joy. This requires you to step outside of what you know into what you would like to know. Wouldn’t you like to learn more about yourself? Taking risks allows you to explore more of who you are. 

Final Thoughts

I hope this post can inspire you to take more risks. Stepping outside your comfort zone opens the door to adventure, insight, and exploration. Every risk, regardless of the outcome, offers some value. Even if it is just a lesson. The lesson is the reward.

It is not what you say; it is how you say it. While you can control how you deliver a message, you can not control how it is received. At times, the issue lies not in the delivery but in the individual’s ability to receive it. Effective communication requires being mindful of your approach and managing your expectations. A key part of this is communicating assertively and recognizing that everyone has their limitations.

Manage Your Expectations

Think of communication as using a vending machine. Have you ever tried to put a dollar into a vending machine, and it rejected it? The dollar may have been fine, but the machine might have been out of service. Similarly, when you communicate, some people have limitations that prevent them from receiving your message—no matter how clear or well-intentioned it may be.

Develop An Assertive Approach

One of the most common limitations people face is defensiveness, which is why delivery matters. If you shove a dollar into a vending machine or try to force a crumpled one in, it may get jammed. Similarly, if you communicate aggressively or unclearly, you risk triggering defensiveness, which makes it harder for the message to be received. An assertive approach that is clear, respectful, and concise is more likely to be received.

Recognize People’s Limitations

It’s natural to want others to hear and understand your message, but some people have limitations. Rather than focusing on their response, consider refining your delivery. Being assertive is effective—even when the message isn’t immediately received.

When you think about who you are, think of it as a puzzle. Who you are represents the image, and the pieces represent the parts of you. The pieces are your interests, passions, goals, beliefs, strengths, and values. One thing for sure is that we are unique individuals and bring something special to the world.

You Are Unique

You are a unique individual. No one person has the same fingerprint. How unique you are extends beyond a physical attribute. You are unique in the things you love. You are unique in the values you hold. You are unique in the beliefs you have. You are unique in the goals you set. You are unique in the things you are good at. When you think of who you are, include all the pieces. Similarly to a puzzle, you cannot see the fullness of who you are without all the pieces.

The Pieces of the Puzzle

When you think about who you are, I understand the first thing that might come to your mind is what you do. But these are just small pieces to the puzzle. I want you to think about your qualities and not what you do. Consider your interests, hobbies, values, beliefs, and goals. These things represent a significant part of you. These are things you prioritize because they matter to you.

Choose Who You Want to Be

Who you are is more than what you do. Who you are is who you choose to be. Who you are is about knowing every part of you, from your strengths to your weaknesses. Being who you are is not about being perfect. It is more about being the best version of yourself. You can have weaknesses and still be worthwhile.

Who Are You?

I am a unique individual who loves to learn new things. I believe knowledge is power, and I enjoy sharing what I know with others. I am passionate about helping others and leaving an impact that extends beyond this generation. This is who I am. Who you are?

Accept Where You Are

You are exactly where you are supposed to be. If you are unhappy with where you are at, you might disagree. You might believe you should be further along. You might desire more from life. But you are here. Whether you like it or not, it is important to accept it. Because where you are now can help you get to where you want to be.

Just because you are unhappy with where you are does not mean you should be somewhere else. Where you are now is an opportunity for growth. You are discovering what you want to change. You might not be happy, but you can be grateful. Grateful that where you are is only temporary. Now you know what you want to change. Now, you can make that change.

Create The Life You Want

When you think about where you are, it is important to consider if your actions are holding you back. While you might not have control over everything, you have control over how you respond. When you respond with openness, you invite knowledge. When you respond with a positive mindset, you invite hope. When you respond with faith, you invite possibilities. By changing how you respond, you influence the outcome.

You can still have everything you want, but it might not happen when you want it. You might have a dream that you have been wanting for a long time. You might have a goal you have been working on. Whatever it is, it is coming at the right time. The right time is not always the time you want it. The right time is the time you are ready to receive it. It is important to prepare for the things you want.

I hope that wherever you are in life, you can say I am where I am supposed to be. I can change where I stay, and the things I want are coming at the right time.