Author: mentalinventory_85fu6v

Where Does Your Perfectionism Stem from?

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One personal challenge for me is perfectionism. The first time I was conscious of my perfectionism was in college. My friend was sitting next to me as I took notes. I had a habit of rewriting my notes to make them look perfect. My friend noticed I was about to erase something I had written and stopped me. I felt challenged, but it helped me understand things don’t always need to be perfect. We can overcome perfectionism by identifying the cause, challenging all-or-nothing thinking, focusing on progress, practicing self-compassion, and letting go of comparison.

Identifying the Root Cause

The first step to resolving a problem is identifying the cause of it. I remember my early childhood when my aunt would review my homework and mark all my mistakes with a red pen. It helped me to become more diligent, but it also led to me becoming a perfectionist. Even if there were a few errors, I would have to rewrite the whole thing. I internalized this experience and believed that my best wasn’t good enough. In college, I found myself rewriting notes not for study purposes but for visual appeal. I realized I was repeating a behavior I had learned from my aunt.

Letting Go of Comparisons

The way we can overcome perfectionism is by not comparing ourselves to others. Letting go of comparisons eliminates the need to measure up to another person’s standard. I would rewrite my notes because I wanted them like one of my classmates. One of my classmates had beautiful penmanship and color-coordinated her notes in different colors. I didn’t trust that my standard was good enough, so I created a standard that I believed was better. I wanted my notes to look aesthetically pleasing so it would take longer to make notes.

Shifting Focus from Perfection to Progress

Perfectionism often slows you down. Every time I rewrote my notes, it took time away from studying. The best way to deal with perfectionism is by focusing on making progress. I had to shift from focusing on the aesthetic of notes to creating notes that helped me understand the material of a class. I challenged the all-or-nothing thinking that only perfection was acceptable. Through self-compassion, I recognize that I am unique and my best is enough. I learned to accept myself as is and not strive to be worthy through perfection but recognize I am already worthy.

Embracing Your Worth

I may have recognized my perfectionism in college, but it started in childhood. Often, we need to revisit our early childhood experiences to identify behaviors we need to unlearn. The first step to overcoming perfectionism is to identify the root cause. Then, we can challenge our beliefs through self-compassion. Instead of focusing on perfection, we shift to progress. Lastly, we unlearn the belief that we are not good enough by not comparing ourselves to others. Our worth lies in who you are, not in who you think you should be. I hope your takeaway is that you don’t need to be perfect to be enough. You are enough as you are.

What Past Hurt Do You Want to Release?

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Recalling the struggle to move beyond painful experiences, I searched for guidance on YouTube with the phrase “healing emotional pain.” I found a video that sparked my journey toward healing, and I’d like to share the insights gained from it. The video highlighted the significance of emotional regulation, self-compassion, patience, cognitive reframing, and forgiveness. Although the healing journey is neither swift nor simple, it is a transformative path worth pursuing.

The Importance of Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is essential to healing from a painful experience. One way we can do this is by identifying how we feel. It is often hard to admit it when you feel scared or sad because it feels uncomfortable. Some emotions are heavy, intense, and painful, which can prevent us from wanting to acknowledge them. However, I found acknowledging them can often create space to process them. It also creates an opportunity to change how you feel. If the emotion is too intense, consider taking a break or talking it out with a supportive friend. Journaling your thoughts or engaging in meditation are also great options for managing your emotions.

Practicing Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is crucial for emotional regulation. By practicing self-compassion, we improve our ability to manage emotions. For instance, when we feel fear, we may judge ourselves for that feeling. Thinking “I shouldn’t be afraid” may lead to feeling shame. Practicing self-compassion involves allowing oneself to feel fear without judgment. Affirmations such as “It’s normal to feel afraid,” “I can handle my emotions,” “My feelings do not define me,” and “I acknowledge and accept my fear,” can help you to accept your emotions without being overwhelmed by them.

Be Patience with Yourself

The path of healing is a journey that requires patience. Healing resembles a circle, symbolizing the ongoing journey toward wholeness. It involves being receptive to the work necessary to heal. Part of the healing process is recognizing your triggers. You may have thought you had done all the healing work. But, a trigger may signal that there is something you are still working through. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge your progress. Healing is a process that takes time for everyone. Emotional wounds can leave profound scars, and similar to a physical wound, the deeper it is, the more care and time it needs to heal.

The Role of Forgiveness in Letting Go

Forgiveness is often a challenging but helpful way to let go of past hurts. Many of us have experienced hurt, and it’s not uncommon to feel weighed down by it. Clinging to resentment can hinder our progress and rob us of peace. Often, forgiveness is the key to finding peace. It is a personal choice that only you can decide for yourself. Forgiveness doesn’t justify the wrongs done; rather, it’s about letting go of resentment. To start, ask yourself, “What do I need to forgive myself for?” Write it down, beginning with “I forgive myself for.” Next, reflect on what you wish to forgive in others.

On the path to healing, I have learned to embrace the journey. When healing emotional wounds, practice emotional regulation, self-compassion, patience, cognitive reframing, and forgiveness. These practices have been critical to my healing process, and I hope they can be just as transformative for you.

How Mentally Strong Are You?

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There is a popular book called 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin. I found this list to help me focus on ways I can become more mentally strong, and I hope that sharing it will have the same impact on you. Here are thirteen behaviors that mentally strong people avoid. By avoiding these behaviors, you can feel more in control of your life no matter what is going on externally.

They Don’t Engage in Self-Pity

Feeling sad over a painful experience is natural, yet wallowing in self-pity can strip us of our power. Life inevitably has pain, but our reaction to it is a choice. Choose self-compassion over self-pity. Acknowledge your pain, but don’t let it become your identity.

They Don’t Live in the Past

Clinging to pain hinders progress. Focusing on the lessons learned allows us to move beyond the hurt. Gaining wisdom from past experiences can help us to make better choices for the future.

They Don’t Give Their Power Away

Blaming others for your emotions gives away your power. It’s up to you to regulate your feelings. By owning your emotions, you empower yourself.

They Don’t People Please

People pleasing is often a sign of poor boundaries and a defense mechanism to keep people from being upset. Consider saying no to things you don’t want to do.

They Don’t Focus on Things They Can’t Control

Although there are many things you cannot change, there are things that you can change and even influence. Focusing more on what you can change empowers you to take action.

They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Solitude offers a valuable opportunity for personal growth. Taking time to be alone with our thoughts enables us to reflect on our feelings and achieve greater clarity. Adopting a self-care practice such as journaling can be a great way to monitor your thoughts and emotions.

They Don’t Avoid Change

Change can often be challenging, but embracing it allows us to grow. Moments of discomfort can lead us to the best version of ourselves.

They Don’t Avoid Taking Risks

Fear can often prevent us from taking risks. Although scary, a risk can lead to a great reward. Consider taking small risks to get more comfortable with big risks.

They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes

Part of being human is making mistakes. Mistakes do not define us. They are opportunities to learn what we can do differently.

They Don’t Rely on Instant Gratification

It is common to have goals, but it takes time to achieve them. Instead of focusing on the outcome, enjoy the process. Put forth your best effort and remain patient. 

They Don’t Feel Entitled

When we have the belief that the world owes us, we run the risk of being disappointed. Develop an internal locus of control. Consider the actions you can take to achieve your goals.

They Don’t Envy People’s Sucess

Jealousy is a natural emotion, yet it can become harmful without self-awareness. Rather than feeling threatened by another’s achievements, let them inspire you. The success of others can serve as a motivation for what you can achieve.

They Don’t Give Up Easily

Failure is only permanent when we give up. When we push through setbacks, we pave the way to success.

What is Emotional Maturity?

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You may have heard the saying, “maturity comes with age,” but emotional maturity extends beyond reaching a certain age. It involves effectively managing emotions and navigating life’s challenges. Emotionally mature individuals can recognize and share their emotions, demonstrate flexibility and open-mindedness, take accountability for their actions, resolve conflicts, and handle stress in healthy ways.

Understanding Your Emotions

Emotional maturity is having the ability to recognize and share emotions. It can be helpful to know when you feel overwhelmed because that allows you to know when to take a break. Our emotions are a signal that we can either ignore or respond to. Being able to recognize your emotions can help prevent you from reacting. You may even find it helpful to communicate what you feel stressed about so that people are aware. An example of this is communicating with your boss when you feel overwhelmed. Informing your boss about your feelings creates an opportunity for support and mutual understanding.

Being Adaptable

Emotionally mature individuals often demonstrate flexibility and open-mindedness. Life can be unpredictable, but these qualities enable us to adapt more effectively to unexpected circumstances. If the train gets delayed, you might consider exploring alternative transportation options. You might even use the time to read or listen to music while waiting for the train. Another way to exhibit flexibility is by being open to perspectives that differ from your own. When a friend disagrees with you, instead of getting upset, try to be curious about why they have a different opinion. This approach can help you understand their point of view. Being open to a different perspective allows you to learn something new.

Taking Accountability

Individuals who take accountability for their actions demonstrate greater emotional maturity than those who do not. As humans, we may unintentionally hurt the feelings of those we care about. We display maturity by taking accountability and expressing regret for our actions. It is also crucial to recognize that making a mistake does not define one’s character. We all fall short of perfection, and this is normal and acceptable. How we respond to our mistakes reveals our true character. Viewing mistakes as opportunities for growth rather than reflections of our self-worth showcases emotional maturity. Apologizing sincerely for causing hurt and taking measures to prevent repeating the same mistake further exemplify emotional maturity.

Great at Conflict Resolution

Conflict is normal, and resolving it requires emotional maturity. Demonstrating maturity involves listening, being empathetic, remaining calm, seeking understanding, and finding solutions. Good listeners can understand others’ perspectives and use “I” statements to take responsibility and avoid blame, which helps reduce defensiveness. Emotionally mature people also know how to disengage when the conversation gets heated. They are great at addressing aggression or manipulation with the person in a respectful manner. Setting boundaries is another effective way to resolve conflicts. Communicating your boundaries lets others know your needs and limitations, which is crucial for maintaining harmony in relationships.

Healthy Stress Management

The way we manage stress can also indicate our level of emotional maturity. Life can be stressful, but there are healthy ways to cope during these times. When overwhelmed, your body releases cortisol, a stress hormone. An emotionally mature person listens to their body. They engage in physical activity such as yoga, walking, or dancing to relieve stress. They take breaks throughout the day to prevent burnout. They practice deep breathing to stay present and respond to what is happening. More importantly, they are not afraid to ask for help because they recognize that they need it.

Emotional maturity is not necessarily something that comes with age. It is a quality that can be cultivated at any stage of life. It is never too late to become an emotionally mature person. Individuals who can recognize and share their emotions, demonstrate flexibility and open-mindedness, take accountability for their actions, resolve conflicts, and handle stress are emotionally mature.

How Do You Stay True to Yourself?

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Throughout my life, there were moments when I felt judged for being different from others. I also had moments where I felt like I wasn’t living up to societal expectations. In a society where others have expectations of you, how do you remain authentic to yourself? Ultimately, true happiness comes from staying true to your values and making choices that reflect you rather than conforming to societal norms. Maintaining authenticity involves several practices. It involves knowing your values, accepting who you are, letting go of the need for approval, practicing self-compassion, and surrounding yourself with supportive people.

Understanding Your Values

The values you have are an essential part of building a life of authenticity. Our values remind us of what we need to focus on and give us direction. One way to stay true to yourself is by living by your values. Understanding your top five values and aligning your actions with them can be beneficial. Your values can help you to stay true to what matters to you. Once you know your values, consider ways you can incorporate your values into your life. Your values can be a way to maintain integrity with who you are. If self-respect is a value you have, you can uphold it by setting clear boundaries, being assertive, and making your well-being a priority.

Embracing Your Unique Self

Authenticity means embracing your true self. You are unique, and your path will differ from others. It’s okay not to follow what others your age are doing. It’s normal to have different qualities, goals, and dreams. Your individuality allows you to make a unique mark on the world. To effect change, embracing your uniqueness is essential. What sets you apart is your strength. Accepting yourself also means recognizing your humanity. You are human, flawed like everyone else. No matter your imperfections, you have value. You don’t have to prove your worth. Being authentically you is more than enough.

Letting Go of the Need for Approval

Releasing the need for approval is crucial to maintaining authenticity. Often, we face expectations from our parents, friends, and society that don’t reflect our true selves. We aren’t obligated to fulfill others’ desires of who we should be. While there may be a desire to make others happy, it should not come at the cost of losing our identity. The key to overcoming the need for approval lies in building our self-esteem. When we are confident in who we are, we reduce the need for approval. Take time to reflect on your strengths. Focus on what you love about yourself. Understand that your self-perception holds more weight than the opinions of others.

The Power of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can be instrumental in an authentic life. We limit ourselves through negative self-talk. We can challenge these thoughts with more empowering statements. Sometimes, we may have internalized a traumatic experience to mean that there is something wrong with us. Self-compassion says I am not defined by what happened to me. The trauma I experienced was not my fault. These statements are honest and empowering. It also allows you to move forward and create the life you want. Self-compassion helps you to embrace the power that lies within. Your inner critic can get in the way of living more authentically because of the fear of failure. Self-compassion sounds like I acknowledge my fear and move forward with courage. I let go of the fear of judgment and embrace my authenticity. I am allowed to make mistakes; they do not diminish my worth.

Surrounding Yourself with Supportive People

Being around people who accept who you are can be crucial to staying authentic. The support of people can help you to feel comfortable expressing who you are honestly and openly. It can allow you to be vulnerable without the fear of judgment. The support of the right people can be instrumental in achieving your goals and aspirations. Receiving feedback and different perspectives can be incredibly valuable. It empowers you to make choices that align with your goals and desires. Supportive people can serve as accountability partners to keep you on track when you get off course and help you to become the best version of yourself.

The Power of Authenticity

I have learned the best way to live life is authentically. We might feel pressure from society, friends, or even family to change who we are to meet their expectations, but it costs us our authenticity. Our authenticity is our superpower. We can embrace that power by staying true to who we are. Authenticity encompasses knowing our values, embracing our true selves, releasing the need for approval, practicing self-compassion, and surrounding ourselves with supportive people.

How Do You Deal with Disappointment?

Disappointment is a common experience, whether it’s a failed relationship, a missed job opportunity, or an event that didn’t go as planned. How we respond to disappointment shapes our ability to move forward. Here are effective strategies to help you bounce back.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Recognizing your feelings is crucial when dealing with disappointment. Emotions like sadness, anxiety, or fear are natural. Rather than deeming them as negative, use them to guide you. Express how you feel by journaling or talking to someone you trust. Allowing yourself to express an emotion can help you to move forward.

Re-Evaluate Your Expectations

Disappointment often arises from unmet expectations. Life is unpredictable, so it’s essential to manage your expectations. Assess what’s realistic; for instance, you may be excited about a concert, but the weather is bad that day. The likelihood of concert cancellation is high. Instead of focusing on the disappointment from the canceled concert, consider ways you can be flexible. Maybe you can attend the concert on a different date or use the refund for something else you enjoy.

Accept What Has Happened

Acceptance is key to moving forward. Disappointment is a part of life, and resisting it can lead to stagnation. Accepting the outcome of a job rejection or the end of a relationship allows you to shift your focus to new opportunities. Embrace the moment by saying, “I accept what I cannot change and focus on what I can control.”

Learn from the Experience

Disappointment can be a powerful teacher. After not securing a summer internship, I focused on what I could control—researching companies, practicing interviews, and refining my resume. This proactive approach ultimately led me to a better job. Recognize that your worth isn’t tied to external outcomes, and use setbacks as a chance to grow.

Stay Hopeful for the Future

Maintaining hope is vital. Remember that setbacks are often temporary and can lead to better opportunities. A job rejection might redirect you to a role with better benefits, or a painful breakup may lead you to discover your true needs and values, resulting in a healthier relationship later. Reflecting on past disappointments that turned into positives can help foster a more optimistic outlook.

By employing these strategies, you can navigate disappointment effectively and emerge stronger. Every setback is an opportunity for growth, guiding you toward a more fulfilling future.

Why Endings Are Necessary?

In life, there comes a time when you must end one chapter before starting another. My experiences have taught me that such endings are crucial for personal development. We evolve by releasing what no longer serves us. Closing one door paves the way for new opportunities. It also sets the stage for healing when we choose to move forward. I want to share how ending a friendship helped me to realize how necessary endings are.

Endings Can Be Hard

Recently, I made the tough decision to end a friendship. Over the years, I had grown close to this person, but it became clear that the friendship was not contributing to my personal growth anymore. It’s like gardening; you prune away the old to encourage new growth. Letting go of this friendship was hard, but it sparked a period of personal development. Although I lost a friend, I learned an invaluable lesson: the qualities I sought in a friend were ones I could cultivate within myself. As we change and grow, holding on to relationships that no longer serve us can be more of a hindrance than a help. This ending was a pivotal moment for my own growth and healing journey.

Endings Can Be Healing

Ending my friendship was painful, yet it led to healing. I learned to be a better friend to myself and embraced self-compassion through self-forgiveness. I forgave myself for settling for less and not speaking up about my needs. This forgiveness led to a new belief: I deserve to have my needs met. It empowered me to set new standards for future friendships. I wrote down the lessons and embraced the importance of communication and shared values. I believe the reason for that friendship was to heal and discover that I was worth having what I wanted.

Endings Can Be Transformative

An ending can also mark the start of something more promising. Sometimes, ending a relationship, job, partnership, or a limiting belief is necessary to open up space for better opportunities. The end of the friendship was the beginning of a better relationship with myself. With more time, I understood myself better and fostered internal happiness. This transformation made me a better individual and fueled my passion. If you’re contemplating ending something and feeling hesitant or scared, consider the possibility of something greater awaiting you. Letting go of what no longer benefits you creates space for new possibilities that may exceed what you could have ever imagined.

Endings are a natural part of life, serving several purposes. They can facilitate growth, offer a chance to heal, and pave the way for better beginnings. Consider what you might need to end in your life that no longer benefits you. What aspects of your life no longer align with who you are? It could be a job, a business, a relationship, or even a belief. It could be necessary to consider what in your life you need to end today.

What Causes You Uncertainty?

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In a study, participants connected to an electric shock device showed higher anxiety levels when told there was a 50% chance of receiving a shock compared to those informed of a 100% chance. The study proves that humans typically prefer certainty to uncertainty. Despite life’s unpredictability, we have coping strategies. Handling uncertainty includes staying present, focusing on what we can control, challenging negative thoughts, and taking decisive actions.

Some situations that might cause uncertainty include starting a new relationship, moving to another city, or changing jobs. Uncertainty can cause uncomfortable emotions like fear and anxiety. One way we can deal with uncertainty is by accepting how we feel. While confronting anxiety can be unsettling, it is a natural part of the human experience.

Sometimes, we feel afraid when things are unfamiliar. We may avoid uncertain situations due to fear of disappointment. We must allow ourselves to be present with our emotions. Although it may feel uncomfortable to confront our feelings, this practice helps us develop self-regulation skills. Self-regulation is crucial for effectively navigating uncertain situations. By accepting our feelings, we become better equipped to respond. The next time uncertainty arises, stay present with your feelings.

The Locus of Control

Our aversion to uncertainty often stems from an inability to control external factors. We desire to dictate outcomes, yet external factors remain beyond our grasp. However, we can influence results through our actions, thoughts, and perspectives. To manage uncertainty, exercise your locus of control: take a sheet of paper, fold it down the middle, and list the uncontrollable factors on one side and the controllable ones on the other. Concentrate on the latter. This exercise can reduce anxiety, shift your mindset, and improve problem-solving abilities.

Challenge Catastrophic Thinking

Reflect on the last time you felt uncertain. What thoughts did you have? Often, when we feel unsure about things, we tend to catastrophize. Imagining the worst case scenario is a cognitive distortion. Some examples of this are the what-if statements. What if my relationship ends? What if I lose my job? What if I fail? What if this does not work out?

We attempt to control the situation by expecting the worst as a way to prepare ourselves. But this technique can cause more harm than good. Instead, we can acknowledge the possibility of things working out. What if the relationship lasts? What if I get a better job? What if I succeed? Alternatively, you can replace “What if” statements with “Even if” statements. Even if I lose my job, I will find another. Even if the relationship ends, I will be okay. Even if I make mistakes, I will learn from them.

Take Action

It might be tempting to procrastinate when uncertain, but this is a form of self-sabotage. Instead, we can take action even if we are unsure of the outcome. The purpose of taking action is to get comfortable making decisions even during times of uncertainty. The action you take might require some level of risk. It takes a risk to put yourself out there, but on the other hand, it could be an opportunity to have what you want. Starting a business, moving to a new city, or beginning a relationship entails risk, but each offers a chance to pursue your vision, embrace a fresh start, or meet someone special. Before you avoid things that feel risky, consider the opportunity. 

Life can be uncertain, but with the right tools, you can manage it. Though the future is unknown, focusing on the present allows us to respond effectively. To navigate uncertainty, stay present, focus on what is controllable, challenge negative thoughts, and take courageous action.

How Ready Are for A Relationship? 5 Signs

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Relationships come to teach us, not to complete us. A healthy relationship consists of two whole people. Being content with yourself is essential before finding contentment with someone else. There are several signs that you are ready for a relationship. These include knowing and accepting yourself, being emotionally mature, knowing what you want, and putting yourself out there.

1. You Know Who You Are

One way to know you are ready for a relationship is that you know who you are. Knowing who you are gives you an identity outside a relationship status. Your relationship status does not add value to you. You are valuable whether you are in a relationship or not. You are worth getting to know. Spend some time with yourself and start getting to know yourself better. Know what your triggers are. Heal from past trauma. Find out what you like and dislike. Find out what your passions are. Find out what type of person you are. Find out what you value. Before you search for the one, be the one who knows who they are aside from a relationship.

2. You Accept Yourself

Another way to know you are ready for a relationship is that you accept who you are. You are a unique individual and offer something special to this world. Embrace your individuality. Resist the comparison trap. Focus on your unique qualities and accept your imperfections. When you treat yourself well, you invite others to do the same. Accepting who you are is about recognizing that you are a work in progress. It is okay if you do not have everything together. Working on improving yourself is a step in the right direction. Acceptance also means being okay with rejection because it does not define your value. The right people will accept you as you are. 

3. You Are Emotionally Mature

Being emotionally mature is another sign you are ready for a relationship. Often, communication is a huge part of relationships. It is crucial you know how to communicate your needs to your partner. It is also essential to actively listen and understand another person’s perspective. Conflict is a normal part of the relationship. Knowing how to communicate can help you to resolve conflicts. Some other indicators of emotional maturity include setting and respecting boundaries, apologizing, and taking accountability for your actions. Additionally, you are comfortable being vulnerable and expressing your emotions.

4. You Know What You Want

You are clear about your desires and have standards for your ideal partner. You are unwavering in your nonnegotiables and are willing to hold out for what you deserve rather than settle. You have a vision for the life you want to build with a significant other. You do not succumb to societal pressures dictating when love should come into your life. Remember, good things often come to those who wait, and focusing on becoming the best version of yourself while staying open to love can lead to finding the right person at any age.

5. You Put Yourself Out There

You are also willing to put yourself out there. It is about being open to getting to know someone new and showing interest. It can be as simple as eye contact and a smile. You might even consider being set up by a friend or trying online dating. Putting yourself out there is also about being honest about what you want by communicating your interests, values, desires, and intentions. You want the person to understand who you are to determine if they are the right fit. You might face rejection when you put yourself out there, but that is part of the dating process. When someone rejects you, they are doing you a favor. They are letting you know they are not the one for you. That is okay because the one for you will choose you.

Conclusion: Are You Ready for a Relationship?

You might desire a relationship, but are you prepared for one? It can be challenging to have a truly satisfying experience in a relationship if you are feeling incomplete when you start it. A healthy and loving relationship calls for two whole individuals. Reflect on what makes you ready for a relationship. If you can confidently say, “I know who I am. I accept who I am. I am emotionally mature. I know what I want. I put myself out there,” then you are ready for a relationship.

How Emotionally Resilient Are You?

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I’ve heard only 10 percent of life is determined by what happens to you, and the remaining 90 percent is how you react to those events. I was skeptical because I believed the event had more influence on how I reacted. However, I have realized that my perception of the events shaped my reactions. I have learned to experience life differently by developing an internal locus of control. I had to shift from powerless to powerful. The way we move to a place of empowerment is through emotional resilience. The best ways to develop emotional resilience involve assessing our self-image, being optimistic, letting go of a victim mentality, and seeking support.

Cultivating a Positive Self-Image

Building emotional resilience is about having that inner voice that says I can get through this. I refuse to be defined by my circumstances. I have supportive people who can help me. I trust myself to make the right decisions. When you find yourself doubting your capabilities, challenge those beliefs. Often, the limitations we might have stem from past experiences. Fortunately, we can go beyond who we have been and become who we want to be. You might have felt powerless in the past, but you can feel powerful today. I encourage you to embrace the power that lies within. 

Embracing Optimism

Another way to build emotional resilience is by having an optimistic outlook. When you direct your attention to the things going well in your life, you cultivate a positive mindset. We cannot control external factors, but we can control our perspective. One way to increase optimism is by being grateful. The end of a relationship can be heartbreaking but having gratitude can help you move forward. You can be grateful for the lessons you learn. Appreciate the positive memories you’ve shared. Embrace the opportunity to focus on yourself. Be thankful for the chance to have a new relationship that surpasses your wildest imagination.

Letting Go of the Victim Mentality

We can also cultivate resilience when we let go of the victim mentality. A common belief associated with a victim mentality is terrible things are always happening to me. I have no choice about what happens to me. Others are to blame for my adversaries. You may even ask yourself why me? It may be helpful to consider more empowering questions like:

  • What can I learn from this?
  • How can I use this to transform?
  • What actions can I take to make this better?
  • What can I do differently to get a favorable outcome?
  • What can I control in this situation?

A victim mentality is often the result of past trauma. With the help of a licensed therapist, you can heal from painful experiences. As you begin to heal, you can reclaim your power by speaking up and taking responsibility for what is in your control.

Building Supportive Relationships

Lastly, we can increase our resilience by being around supportive people. Individuals who listen with empathy and offer encouragement are essential to helping us during challenges. Take time to evaluate your support system to ensure you have people in your life who have your best interest at heart. You can find support through church, friends, family, mentors, teachers, therapists, support groups, online communities, and hotlines. Many people are willing to offer assistance. Seeking help can often result in receiving support. As you feel supported, you build the strength to overcome challenges. 

Change Starts with You

You may believe to experience a better life, things around you need to change. But the truth is that change starts with you. You have to change your locus of control. Having an internal locus of control will help you to experience life differently. Life is happening for you and not happening to you. This mindset can help you to build resilience and move from powerless to powerful. Remember that resilience develops as you assess your self-image, become optimistic, let go of a victim mentality, and seek support.