Author: mentalinventory_85fu6v

What Is Your Relationship with Money?

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People are known as either savers or spenders. While how we manage money can reveal our financial habits, it doesn’t fully capture the emotional side of our decision-making. For some, saving might be motivated by the dream of buying a house, while others may spend money on travel to create memorable experiences. Understanding how we manage money and how we feel about money is crucial.

Retail Therapy

You’ve probably heard the term ‘retail therapy.’ I’ve been guilty of spending more when I was stressed. Shopping gave me a quick fix and made me feel more in control. Money became more than monetary value; it was a way to escape uncomfortable emotions. You wouldn’t know this because I consider myself more of a saver than a spender. But the truth is, how we spend money can often be deeply emotional.

I share my experience not to put the spotlight on myself but to help others realize they’re not alone. For many, talking about money can feel uncomfortable, but starting these conversations can foster greater self-awareness about our relationship with money. Retail therapy doesn’t have to lead to financial hardship; it’s all about moderation and mindfulness. If money is your only way of coping with emotions, consider exploring other ways to manage them.

Saving Vs Spending

Saving money can be just as emotional as spending it. Whether you’re saving for your dream home, booking a trip abroad, or planning a family reunion, the cost of these experiences can be significant. However, the memories you create are priceless. While being a saver is beneficial, being a spender isn’t necessarily bad. You deserve to enjoy your money, and spending it on meaningful experiences is a perfect way of doing that.

While saving money can be beneficial, it can also have a downside. For example, you may feel guilty about spending money, even when you can afford it. This feeling often stems from a scarcity mindset—one you may have developed growing up in a household where money was tight. Witnessing your parent’s struggle might have left you with an underlying fear of being without. Now, as an adult, you find yourself saving out of that same fear, trying to avoid the feeling how you did as a child.

Final Thoughts

When considering money, think beyond just being a saver or spender. Neither is better than the other. It is all about finding a balance between the two. More important than how you manage money is your relationship with money. Becoming self-aware of your emotions around saving and spending can improve your financial decisions. I hope this post can encourage you to be more mindful about how you view money.

How Do You Define Love?

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I’ve often found myself struggling to define love in a single sentence. While I have my understanding of what it is, I can’t say that everyone shares the exact definition. In fact, I believe people might define love differently. So, is there one universal definition we can all agree on? I’m not sure, but I found a definition in bell hooks’ book All About Love that resonated with me. She defines love as “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” This definition suggests that love is selfless, pure, nurturing, transformative, commitment, and, most importantly, a choice.

Love Is Selfless

I believe the best place to start is by introducing love as selfless, a concept that bell hooks captures when she says love is “to extend oneself.” It is offering your time when a close friend needs someone to talk to, or supporting a loved one’s dreams. Selfless love is given freely, without the expectation of anything in return. It is extending yourself for another’s well-being rather than personal gain.

Love Is a Choice

Love is more than just a feeling; it is a conscious choice. As bell hooks defines it, love involves “the will to extend,” highlighting love as an action and not just a feeling. While many people associate love with their feelings, they often overlook the fact that love is a choice. Feelings may change over time, but the actions you take to express love can remain constant. When you love someone, you show it. Taking time to express your love language and identifying the love language of others can help you show love in a way that others can appreciate it.

Love Is Pure

You know you love someone when you want the best for them. You want to see them happy, successful, and healthy. You are happy to watch their dreams come true and enjoy celebrating their milestones. When you genuinely care about another person’s well-being, you are experiencing the purest form of love. You consider how they feel in your decision-making. You consider how you can show up for them. Loving someone is about showing consideration.

Love Is Nurturing

The way you care for someone is a powerful expression of love. When you nurture someone, you give them what they need. Everyone has needs that are essential to experiencing fulfillment in relationships. Loving someone means knowing their needs and being able to fulfill their needs. Another part of nurturing someone is supporting another person’s growth. You are willing to provide your time, resources, and knowledge to help them grow.

Love Is Commitment

Love is a commitment to seeing the growth of the relationship. It is about committing to being with someone long-term. It doesn’t mean you can’t leave when it becomes unhealthy or toxic. In those cases, leaving is an act of self-love. Love is committing to support each other’s growth in a healthy and balanced way. It’s not just about saying ‘I do’ when you get married; it’s about committing to say ‘I do’ to the relationship every day.

Love Is Transformative

Love can transform a relationship. When you are with someone who knows how to love you, you have a fulfilling relationship. A fulfilling relationship changes the way you show up in the world. You find that you have more love to give. You are more patient because you are happier. You are more understanding because your capacity to love has expanded. You also find that those past hurts heal when you are loved.

Final Love Notes

I don’t know how you define love, but the way I define love is selfless, choice, pure, nurturing, committed, and transformative. While your definition might differ from mine, I hope you can begin to define what love is for you. I hope that love can be an experience that nurtures your spiritual growth.

What Do You Look for in a Therapist?

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Therapy can be intimidating, especially when you’re talking to a stranger. But you’re not alone. A therapist’s role is to provide a safe space for you to open up. Before your first session, consider researching your therapist. Websites like Psychology Today let you explore therapist profiles, read about their credentials, and even schedule consultations. While therapy might feel scary, a good therapist will guide and support you every step of the way.

Research Therapists

When looking for a therapist, consider finding someone who specializes in the specific issues you are facing. Whether you are dealing with trauma, anxiety, depression, addiction, or stress, it is helpful to have a trained therapist in your area of concern. A therapist with expertise in your area can offer more personalized treatment, improving your overall experience. Consider checking their credentials and experience to ensure they fit your needs.

Schedule a Consultation

Once you have done the research, it is time to schedule a consultation. The consultation helps ensure the therapist is the right fit. Consultations are typically free and are fifteen minutes long. During the conversation, consider having a list of questions. These questions can help you determine who is the best fit for you. Here are a list of questions you might ask:

  • What is your therapeutic approach?
  • How long have you been practicing in this area?
  • How do you tailor your approach to meet the specific needs of your clients?
  • Do you accept insurance? If so, which insurance providers do you work with?

During the consultation, you may realize they aren’t the best match. Trust your gut—if you aren’t comfortable moving forward, consider finding another therapist.

Book a Session

Once you believe you have found a therapist you like, you can schedule your first session. The first session is usually an intake process. Your therapist might ask about your personal history and goals. You will have the opportunity to share more about yourself and what you hope to gain from therapy. After the first session, check in with yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, it is okay to find another one. It might take time to find the one that works best for you.

Final Takeaway

Therapy can be an intimidating experience at first, but it can also lead to healing and transformation. Before booking your first session with a therapist, consider reading their bio, checking their credentials, and scheduling a consultation. These steps can help you find a therapist that fits your needs.

What Can You Learn from Your Inner Child?

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As children, we often turn to our parents for guidance and may still seek their wisdom as adults. But what if the answers we’re looking for are already within us? Sometimes, it takes reconnecting to our inner child to discover who we are and what we want. When we trust our inner compass, we begin to navigate the world in a way that reflects our authentic selves.

Curiosity

As we get older, we often lose the sense of curiosity we once had as children. Yet, this very curiosity may be what our adult selves are missing. We stop exploring and start fearing the unknown. As children, we were more open to learning new things, but as adults, we tend to prefer what we know over what we don’t. We forget the fun of not knowing. If we want to stay connected to who we are, curiosity is key.

Imagination

Children are said to have a vivid imagination. In their mind, they can be who they want to be and create the life they want to live. However, many adults stop imagining what might be possible for them. Some believe it is a waste of time to let their mind wander. But, our imagination could be reminding us of what we want. It is in these moments of wonder we rediscover our dreams. Daydreaming and creating a vision allows us to tap into our inner child and manifest our dreams.

Play Time

Naturally, we take on more responsibilities in adulthood, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun. Playtime is not just limited to children. Adults can have fun as well. Whether it’s engaging in a hobby, doing something spontaneous, or watching a funny TV show, these moments of joy help us recharge. Making time to laugh more is one of the best ways to stay connected with our inner child.

Resilience

Another thing that we can learn from our inner child is resilience. Kids are very determined when they want something. I believe some adults get discouraged more easily than kids. When we don’t get something we want right away, we give up. Children can be relentless when they don’t get what they want. We can learn from our inner child how to be tenacious. It isn’t about giving up when things don’t go our way. It is about staying persistent until we obtain what we desire.

Intuition

One thing I have noticed about children is their intuition. They can read people better than adults. It is like they are born with a sixth sense. While intuition never lies, many adults don’t always follow it. They rely on logic to make their decisions. But what makes logical sense isn’t always the best choice. If we learn to rely more on intuition, we can always make the best decision.

Final Takeaways

Often, we seek guidance from our parents and mentors, but the answers we need are within. Sometimes, connecting with our inner child can guide us down the right path. Our inner child teaches us to be curious, imaginative, playful, resilient, and intuitive. These are all powerful tools that we can use to guide us to who we want to be and where we want to go.

Why Rejection Isn’t Personal?

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Everyone faces rejection at some point, but not everyone reacts the same way. While some take it personally, others view it as an opportunity. Rejection doesn’t determine your worth or your future. Instead of taking it personally, recognize it as a sign that something better is coming. Adopting this mindset can empower you to keep moving forward toward your goals.

Rejection Isn’t About You

Imagine going for a job you want and acing the interview. You believe you are the best fit for the position. But, you get a call that the company chose another candidate. Naturally, you might feel devastated because you were confident that you got the job. It is important to remember that rejection is not a personal reflection of you. You can be qualified for the position, but that doesn’t always mean you are the best fit.

Shift Your Perspective

When you face rejection, it’s natural to wonder why you weren’t selected. But remember, you can’t control how others perceive you—only how you present yourself. If showing up as your best self isn’t enough, the job may not have been the right fit. Instead of dwelling on the outcome, view rejection as a chance to explore new opportunities. Keep your focus on your goals, and stay open to new possibilities. You can achieve your goals if you remain flexible and persistent.

You Are Enough

Rejection isn’t limited to the workplace; it can also happen in your social life. If you put yourself out there, there’s always a chance of facing rejection, but that doesn’t mean you’re not enough. Who you are will be enough for the right job and relationship. Remember, you are worth getting to know. If someone doesn’t want to date you or be in a relationship with you, it’s their loss. Ultimately, you’ve learned they weren’t the right person for you. The people who accept you are those who belong in your life.

Consider The Lesson

You can gain something valuable even from rejection. It just takes a shift in perspective. Instead of focusing on the question, ‘What’s wrong with me?’, ask yourself, ‘What is next for me?’ Rejection provides you with new information. It reveals that the opportunity or person you have wanted wasn’t the right fit. However, what you want is still possible if you keep moving forward.

Final Thoughts

Rejection doesn’t determine your self-worth or your future. If you experience rejection, don’t dwell on it. Instead, redirect your attention to what you want. You can have something better than you imagined by staying open to new possibilities. Remember, you are worthy of having what you desire.

What Do You Need to Let Go Of?

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Sometimes, the things we might be attracted to might not be the best fit for us. Like shopping for new clothes, everything you try on might not fit. When you like something and recognize it doesn’t fit, be willing to let it go. You cannot miss out on what you want by waiting for it. You can miss out on what you want by holding on to something that doesn’t fit.

Let Go

I once saw a shirt that caught my eye because of its style and color. But when I tried it on, it did not fit. I would not have known that just by looking at it. This lesson can apply to opportunities and people you meet. You might take a job that seemed perfect on paper but later discover it is unfulfilling. Or you meet someone you like, but the more you get to know them, you recognize how incompatible you are. Instead of holding on, let go of what doesn’t fit you.

Be Patient

Sometimes, we fear letting go of what we have because we do not believe we can have better. You may fear missing out, so you settle for things that do not fit you. The possibility of having what you want is there if you are willing to wait. When you take time to wait, you are less likely to settle. You also create space to receive what you are waiting for. Even if what you want looks attractive, consider whether or not it’s a good fit. If you discover something or someone is not a good fit, let it go and wait for what you want.

I hope this post encourages you to wait for what you want and to let go of what doesn’t fit. You can fulfill your desires as long as you are willing to wait.

What Parts of Yourself Do You Judge?

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Imagine having a puzzle with missing pieces. It would be difficult to see the full image. Understanding who you are is about putting all the pieces together so you can see the big picture. When you judge parts of yourself, you limit what you see. Instead of being judgmental, practice self-compassion.

Accept Who You Are

Just like a puzzle, as humans, we have many pieces. Although we may not love every part of ourselves, accepting who we are is crucial. This concept is known as self-compassion. It involves creating space for your complexities. You can be more than one thing at the same time. You have many pieces, but if you separate parts of yourself you don’t like, you have an incomplete image of who you are. It is only when you bring all those pieces together you develop a solid sense of self.

Be Curious

What if you replaced judgment with curiosity? How much more could you love yourself? Self-love is more than saying “I love you” when you look in the mirror. It is about accepting everything about yourself and knowing who you are is enough. Self-love is about being curious and not judgmental. Consider the parts you don’t like about yourself and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this part of myself?”

Be Understanding

When we approach the parts of ourselves we tend to judge with curiosity, we can unlock deeper understanding. Consider what you can learn from the qualities you deem as unacceptable or unusual. You might recognize that you developed these qualities to protect yourself. Being protective of yourself is a helpful quality to have. By being more curious, you create space for self-acceptance.

Final Thoughts

A puzzle is incomplete if it has missing pieces. You need all the pieces of who you are to have a solid sense of self. Instead of judging, be curious and compassionate. This approach leads to a deeper understanding of who you are.

How to Be Intentional About New Relationships?

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The quality of your relationships impacts the quality of your life. Having positive relationships benefits you mentally, emotionally, and physically. Being more intentional about your new relationships requires you to prioritize social events, maintain an open mind, know what you want, be vulnerable, and ask questions. By being intentional, you create the path for deeper connections. 

Prioritize Social Events

One of the first steps to developing new relationships involves establishing common interests. You do this by attending social events that align with your values or hobbies. If you enjoy reading, consider joining a book club. If you like staying active, join a running club. If you value knowledge, attend a trivia night. Also, be consistent with the events you attend. Becoming a familiar face increases your chances of making new friends. 

Remain Open

It is not always easy to put yourself out there, but it is necessary to make new friends. Stepping outside your comfort zone requires that you are courageous and open-minded. Not every social setting will be a good fit, and disappointment may occur. The key is to learn from the experience and explore new social settings. You want to remain open despite the outcome. Your tribe is out; it just might take time to find them. 

Make A List

Before you can find what you are looking for, it is essential to know what you want. Identifying the values and qualities you need in a relationship helps you determine which people you are compatible with. Consider making a list of things you need and want in a relationship. Don’t forget to include dealbreakers as well. As you get to know new people, check to see if they have any qualities you value. Although liking a person is important, compatibility is the key to long-term relationships. 

Be Authentic

People are attracted to authenticity. Being vulnerable is an essential part of showing up authentically. One way to do this is by expressing your feelings. If you had a stressful day at work, be willing to share that. If you reached a goal that you are proud of, share that too. You want to open up early to identify if there is emotional safety. When you feel safe, you become more comfortable with being yourself. 

Ask Questions

Lastly, make sure to ask open-ended questions that help you gauge compatibility. These questions should reflect the qualities and values you seek in a meaningful connection. Pay attention to any answers that may conflict with your core beliefs and values. Avoid compromising who you are because you enjoy someone’s company. Instead, recognize that shared values are more important for long-term relationships. The right people will fit into your life and grow with you. 

Final Thoughts

You might be at a place where you are ready to meet new people and build solid relationships. The key is to be intentional about new relationships. You can do this by prioritizing social events, maintaining an open mind, knowing what you want, being vulnerable, and asking questions. The connections you desire are out there, and by taking these steps, you create a space for meaningful relationships. 

How Often Do You Take Risks?

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In life, I realize I haven’t taken many risks. I’ve often played it safe, afraid of the unknown. But recently, I’ve begun to see risk differently—not as something to fear, but as an opportunity to explore. Now that I view every risk as an opportunity, I find myself more open to stepping outside my comfort zone and embracing change. Taking risks in both your personal and professional life creates opportunities.

Shift Your Perspective

One common reason people avoid taking risks is because they fear the unknown. A risk creates uncertainty for many individuals, which causes them to stay in their comfort zone. This can look like someone ordering the same thing at a restaurant or staying at a job they do not love. Although I see the comfort in sticking to what is familiar, I also realize the possibilities that come with taking risks. The opportunity to explore can lead you to discover more things you love. 

Gain Insight

All risks don’t always lead to the outcome you desire. Maybe you took a risk in dating, and it didn’t work out. Or you invested money in something that didn’t pay off. While the outcome may have been disappointing, your willingness to be open will eventually lead you to what you desire. Sometimes, the lesson is the reward. You learn what you do not want and what you can do differently. You now have insight that can help you to move closer to what you want.

Explore Who You Are

If you find yourself unfulfilled in life, it could be due to a lack of adventure. You could have a great life, but is it exciting? Being open to taking risks brings novelty into your life. Imagine finding a new food you love or a new hobby that brings you joy. This requires you to step outside of what you know into what you would like to know. Wouldn’t you like to learn more about yourself? Taking risks allows you to explore more of who you are. 

Final Thoughts

I hope this post can inspire you to take more risks. Stepping outside your comfort zone opens the door to adventure, insight, and exploration. Every risk, regardless of the outcome, offers some value. Even if it is just a lesson. The lesson is the reward.

How Do You Treat Yourself?

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Treat yourself how you want others to treat you. When you think about how you treat yourself, is it the same way you want others to treat you? If you are critical of yourself, how would you feel if someone was critical of you? I believe having the relationships you want starts with treating yourself better.

You Deserve Kindness

How often do you criticize yourself? Many may not realize how critical they are of themselves. Negative self-talk is not only unkind but unhelpful to your personal growth. While you might believe being hard on yourself helps you grow, it can limit your growth. You deserve to be spoken to with love and kindness. You may be imperfect, but you are not defective. Instead of criticizing yourself, practice self-compassion.

Recognize Your Greatness

How do you respond to compliments? Many people who are hard on themselves find it difficult to accept positive feedback. They might often downplay their strengths or doubt their greatness. Some people may struggle to recognize their greatness because they spend so much time criticizing themselves. You are as great as people say you are. Everyone isn’t lying. But every time you deny your greatness, you are lying to yourself.

You Are Enough

When was the last time you compared yourself to someone? Often, we want to see how we measure up to someone, but why? We can never measure up to another person because we are unique. We have unique talents, strengths, and dreams. Why measure up to someone when you can just be you? There is an opportunity for you to make a difference in this world. And it starts with you being exactly who you are.

Accept Who You Are

What judgments do you have about yourself? We often judge ourselves for being different. Or we might judge ourselves from past mistakes. I want you to challenge the judgment you might have about yourself. If you judge yourself for being different, I want you to know that there is beauty in being you. If you judge yourself for past mistakes, I want you to know there is strength in being imperfect.

Your Needs Matter

How often do you put yourself first? For some people, it is rare. You might value the needs of others over your own. But your needs matter also. You deserve to care, and it starts with developing a self-care practice. One loving thing you can do to start is to become more comfortable with saying no. Saying no is not selfish; it is self-care.

Final Thoughts

I hope this post inspires you to treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated. Stop downplaying your strengths, comparing yourself to others, judging or criticizing who you are, and neglecting your needs. You teach people how to treat you. Make sure the way you treat yourself is reflective of how you want others to treat you.