What in Your Life Isn’t Currently Working for You?

It can be frustrating when you’re not where you want to be, but it can also be motivation to make a change. Whether it’s ending a relationship, switching careers, or shifting your mindset, change isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary. Sometimes, realizing that things aren’t working can be the first step to creating the life you want. I remember the moment I realized I was lacking a sense of purpose, and I decided to create it. This transition took time, but it became a pivotal moment in my life.

Change Begins with Perspective

What is currently frustrating you in life can be the greatest indication that something needs to change. One day, I was reflecting on my life and realized that maybe I’m exactly where I need to be. I might not be happy with where I am, but I can appreciate where I am. The change began when I shifted my mindset. If I wanted to feel less frustrated, I needed to accept my current situation and work towards my desired goal. We have the power to change our lives, and it starts with shifting our mindset.

The Root of Frustration

Sometimes our frustration doesn’t come from our circumstances, but from our thought process. If we believe we should achieve certain things by a specific age, we may feel more disappointed with where we are. But why does timing even matter? Is it because of societal expectations or social comparisons? Maybe we’d feel less frustrated if we stopped putting pressure on ourselves to meet others’ standards. We’re all unique, which is why we achieve things at different times in life. We’re not behind, even if we’re not where we thought we’d be.

Clarify Your Goals and Values

Once we identify what isn’t working, it’s time to make a change. If we realize we’re unhappy in our current job, we might consider looking for a new one. But before taking that step, it’s important to understand what we want in our next role. Change isn’t just about our environment; it’s also about our mindset. Ask yourself: Why do I want to leave? Is it for a more rewarding career, better pay, or a stronger cultural fit? Once you’ve clarified your reasons, you can begin searching for a job that aligns with your values and goals.

Is It Time for a Change?

If you feel frustrated with where your life is, you might be on the brink of something better. We need this emotion to motivate us to change. What is currently not working for you? Is it the job you have, the relationships you’re in, or the way you think? Now, what is one thing you can do differently? Change starts with you, not your circumstances.

What Have Challenges Taught You?

The hardships we face today are the lessons we learn tomorrow. Yet, many see difficulties as roadblocks rather than stepping stones. This mindset prevents us from seeing the opportunities that challenges can offer us. If we focused on how we could grow and what we could learn, our perspective might change. We might shift from feeling powerless to powerful. While our circumstances don’t define who we are, the way we respond to them does. We are capable of handling hard things, and it starts with having a growth mindset.

Growth Mindset vs. Fixed Mindset

There are two types of mindsets: growth and fixed. A growth mindset helps you focus on the lesson instead of just the problem. While we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control what we take away from the experience. When I was in college, I struggled in a math class and worried I might fail. Instead of giving up, I went to tutoring after class. Over time, my quiz scores improved, and I finished the semester with a good grade. But if I had just focused on the problem, I wouldn’t have seen the lesson. From that experience, I learned that asking for help can make a difference.

Redefining Strength

What is the difference between being strong and being resilient? To me, strong is an external ideal, while resilience is an innate power. If you’ve made it this far in life, chances are you’ve persevered through some challenges. Some may define you as a strong person, but I want us to expand how we see strength. Asking for help during tough times is a strength. Being in touch with how you feel is another strength. When we go through trials, it isn’t about showing people how strong we are, but allowing people to see our vulnerability. We are resilient. But we don’t always need to be “strong”.

Being Comfortable with Change

While challenges can be uncomfortable, they allow us to grow. Often, it’s not the challenge itself, but our resistance to change that makes it difficult. People who struggle with challenges frequently have a fixed mindset and believe they can’t improve. But we are all capable of growth if we give ourselves the chance. When I created my blog, I didn’t know how to design a website, but I decided to learn. What was once unfamiliar territory became an opportunity for growth. When responding to challenges, don’t allow fear to keep you stuck.

Shifting Your Focus

When you face a challenge, there is a question I want you to answer. What can I learn and how can I grow? This exercise can help you shift from what you can’t control to what you can. By doing this, you are developing a growth mindset, which makes it easier to overcome challenges.

How Do You Want to Be Remembered?

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We have life only for a moment, but the impact we make can last forever. When I was 8 years old, I heard Martin Luther King Jr.’s I Have a Dream speech in class. It took me many years to understand the power behind his words. While he passed away many decades ago, his dream continues to impact me and millions of others. He has inspired me to dream and be hopeful despite the challenges we face today. As I reflect on his legacy, I find myself asking: how do I want to be remembered?

The Power of Words

Martin Luther King Jr. set the tone for who I want to be. He has inspired me not just through his leadership but through his compassion for others. Writing brings me joy because it allows me to express empathy and offer encouragement through my words. I don’t want my words to be empty; I want them to be powerful. I want to establish a connection with readers that will open their hearts to receive what I have to give. Like King, I hope to leave behind a message that resonates with others. I want my words to be light when the path is dark.

The Joy of Sharing Knowledge

Although I graduated from school many years ago, I’ve never stopped learning. For me, gaining knowledge is exciting, but sharing it gives me a sense of purpose. Maya Angelou once said, “When you learn, teach,” and her words remind me of the importance of sharing what I discover. Each week, I write posts that reflect lessons I’ve learned, hoping they’ll inspire and guide others. Knowledge is power, and instead of keeping it to myself, I choose to share it with the world. When I am no longer here, the lessons I shared will live on.

The Strength of Authenticity

What makes every leader great? For me, it is their authenticity. The beauty of being different is that you offer something unique to the world. I started my blog to express myself authentically. I start every post with a question because curiosity sparks discovery. It’s not about being the best writer but about asking the right questions. While I can appreciate leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Maya Angelou, I also see the value in who I am. In a world of billions, the most powerful thing I can do is be myself.

Building a Legacy

How do you want to be remembered is a powerful question because it invites you to be more intentional about your life. Each of us has the power to make an impact. What will be your impact?

How Often Do You Slow Down to Reflect?

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For some people, staying busy is a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions. We all cope differently, and sometimes it’s easier to externalize what we’re not ready to face internally. How many of us would slow down if we felt more comfortable with difficult feelings? If we learned to sit with our emotions instead of running from them, maybe life would feel less chaotic. Our emotions themselves aren’t the problem; it’s often the way we process them that causes issues. I’d like us to come to a place where we slow down and reflect more often.

Why We Stay Busy

What is keeping you busy? We all have responsibilities, but how many of us would feel uncomfortable if we weren’t busy? The truth is that many people would rather be busy than process sadness. I can relate to this because sadness isn’t an easy emotion to deal with. Sometimes, we might distract ourselves by putting more time into our work. But what if we allow ourselves to feel this emotion? You’re not alone in avoiding hard feelings. Take a deep breath and answer this question: What is my sadness trying to tell me?

How to Process Emotions

Our emotions cannot harm us, but how we process them can. No matter how often we push our feelings down, they don’t disappear. Have you ever noticed how being too busy affects you physically, emotionally, or mentally? Maybe it’s shown up as insomnia, burnout, or irritability. These are signs our bodies and minds are overwhelmed. Instead of suppressing emotions, it’s essential to acknowledge them. Journaling is an effective tool for this: it helps you become more self-aware and change the behavior contributing to how you feel.

Emotions Are Signals

Sometimes it isn’t the emotion we need to change, it’s our behavior. Take sadness, for example. After you recognize how you feel, identify the root cause. Usually, sadness occurs when we feel disconnected from what matters to us. What have you been disconnected from? Could it be the people you love, your passions, or even your body? Once you have your answer, begin to reconnect. Sadness may be uncomfortable, but what if you viewed it as a signal? This simple reframe could give you the space to feel sad without staying sad.

Final Thoughts

While I understand how busy life can get, I also recognize that we might stay busy to avoid uncomfortable feelings. Emotions aren’t the problem; they are signals. I want us to get more comfortable with identifying these signals. I think a great way to start is by journaling how you feel and identifying the cause of that emotion. Then, you can reflect on some ways you can feel better. The goal isn’t to always feel happy. The goal is to stay connected to yourself. The best way to do this is by being present with your emotions, even if it’s uncomfortable.

What Brings You Joy in Your Daily Life?

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On April 6th, I gave birth to a dream I had carried for years. Starting a blog was something I had wanted for a long time, but first, I needed the perfect name. Like many parents naming a newborn, I struggled to find the right name. After going through many names, I finally found one I loved: Mental Inventory.

From Dream to Reality

It was perfect because my blog focuses on self-reflection. The name made it more real. It was no longer just a dream; it was something I was ready to share with the world. I felt anxious before I published my first post. But fear couldn’t keep me from my dreams. Today marks the 100th post, a milestone I could not have reached if I had not found joy in the process.

Finding Joy

The greatest joy of my life has been pursuing this passion. Every day, I’m excited to see how many people visit my blog. As of today, that number has grown to 700, and I couldn’t be more grateful. I hope that each time you read a post, you leave with a new insight, whether it’s a thought-provoking question or a powerful phrase.

Guiding My Readers

Admittedly, I am not an expert on any topic, but what I am an expert in is the life I have. I want you to see me as a loving friend or a dedicated teacher. I may not have all the answers, but I know how to ask the right question. My goal is to guide my readers to their internal compass. You already have the answers, I’m just here to help you uncover them.

Following Your Joy

It took me over a decade to turn my dream into a reality. Too often, we protect our dreams by not going after them. We allow fear to keep us from joy. Or we take the joy out of things by focusing on the outcome rather than the process. I learned early on to be excited about sharing my blog and to enjoy the process. I don’t know what dreams you have, but one thing I know for certain is that they’re worth pursuing. Take it from someone who has found joy in following their dreams.

How Have People’s Opinions Held You Back?

Everyone has an opinion of you, but the mistake we make is tying our identity to how people view us. The way someone perceives you often reflects more about them than about you. If someone sees you as unworthy, does that make you unworthy? The answer is NO. Here’s why I think it is important to be mindful of how we allow people’s perceptions to influence us.

1.) People have limitations

Someone’s views of you reflect their beliefs, biases, and experiences. If someone doesn’t think you are attractive, that doesn’t mean you are unattractive. They are expressing an opinion, not a fact. Too often, we mistake opinions for facts. Their perception of how beautiful you are is also a reflection of how they see beauty. Some people’s ideas of beauty are purely preferential. Instead of trying to fit their preference, create your own. What do you find attractive about yourself? It doesn’t have to be limited to physical appearance; it can be the way you carry yourself. Being uniquely you is beautiful.

Before mirrors existed, people used pools of water to see their reflection. Can you imagine not having a mirror to see yourself? The irony is that every time we allow others to define us, we are looking into a pool of water. We have a distorted view of ourselves when we focus on the opinions of others. What if the same person who thinks you are unworthy is projecting how they feel? You are not unworthy because someone says it. You feel unworthy because you believe it. We are all worthy, but we have to start looking in the mirror to see it.

2.) Opinions are inconsistent

Have you ever had someone say to you, “When I first met you, I thought you were (fill in the blank), but as I got to know you, I realized that you aren’t that way.” Their opinion of you changed because they had more information. The reverse also happens. Some people like you until they discover what they don’t like. Many people are fickle, and if you’re not careful, you can start confusing their opinions with your identity. We need people in our lives whose opinions are more consistent with who we are. Without that, we may begin to question our worth anytime someone’s opinion changes. Instead, we can start liking ourselves first and then choose people who like us back.

3.) Self-worth starts with you

Our confidence is determined by how we perceive ourselves, not the opinion of others. You might not believe this, but how you see yourself is more important than how others perceive you. We don’t need validation to confirm what is already within. We are inherently worthy, which means there’s nothing external that can make us enough. We can start recognizing our worth by looking at who we are. We all carry values and strengths within us. We need to start focusing more on these things. Self-worth isn’t something you find in the approval of others. It is something you recognize within yourself.

Final Takeaway

We cannot control how people perceive us, but we can control how we see ourselves. Take a moment today to list three things you love about yourself. Allow these qualities to be your focus, and you will begin to realize how worthy you’ve always been.

When Is the Last Time You Felt Seen?

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Being seen goes beyond the surface. We call this intimacy: Into me, see. Do you have someone who knows the depth of who you are? Have you allowed people to see your imperfections, or does that make you feel exposed? What if revealing the thing you most want to hide could lead to greater understanding? It’s natural to feel scared or uncomfortable. When we feel afraid, we tend to hide to protect ourselves. But, what we might not realize is that we are disconnecting from others. I want us to stay connected by allowing others to see who we are. Who do you trust enough to let in?

Being Vulnerable

Trust is a leap of faith. You are taking a risk when you let people in. When was the last time you were vulnerable with someone? It may have felt uncomfortable. What if you opened up and someone betrayed your trust? You shared something personal, and they either used it against you or told another person. Experiences like these can be deeply hurtful and cause some people to become guarded. Instead of closing yourself off, trust yourself to know who to let in and who to keep out.

Trusting Yourself

There are people you can trust and people you can’t. The key is learning to recognize those who are trustworthy by revealing things gradually. As you become more confident in trusting yourself, it becomes easier to trust others. People who have earned your trust have also created a safe space for vulnerability. Instead of hiding our imperfections, why not allow others to see them? It invites a level of intimacy where you can be truly seen.

Facing Fears

What fears come up when you think about sharing your imperfections with others? Are you afraid of judgment or rejection? Has this fear held you back from being yourself? Most likely, it has. But it doesn’t have to anymore. When you allow the right people in, you create the foundation for genuine and deep connections.

What parts of yourself do you hide from others? What if you could allow someone to see those parts and accept them? We all deserve to be seen by someone. Think about one person in your life you are willing to be more vulnerable with. Pick someone who has earned your trust and start sharing more of yourself. It might be scary at first but hopefully, you come to find someone who truly sees and accepts who you are.

How Do You Keep Your Cup Full?

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Self-care is all about keeping your cup full. When your cup is full, not only are you happy, but the people around you get to experience the best of you. Sometimes, people believe that to feel happy, they need to pour into others first, but it’s the other way around. A person who fills their cup first has more to give because they understand the importance of self-care. When we discuss self-care, I want us to see it not as a selfish act but as a form of self-love. It isn’t fair to give your all to everyone but you. Let’s start filling your cup up first.

Sleep Is Self-Care

How much sleep are you getting every night? If it’s less than 7 hours, you might not be getting enough. When we were babies, sleep was crucial for brain development, and even as adults, we still need adequate rest for optimal function. Experts recommend 7-9 hours of sleep daily.

As someone who struggles with insomnia, I know firsthand how important good sleep is. It helps me start my day energized and in a better mood. Without enough sleep, I can become irritable and less focused. To combat this, I’ve developed good sleep hygiene by having a nighttime routine and a consistent sleep schedule. I encourage you to prioritize sleep, as it’s not only essential for health but also a great form of self-care.

Nourish Your Body

How do you take care of your body? I believe diet and exercise play a significant role in our well-being. I’ll admit I’m not the healthiest eater, but I’m conscious about the foods I eat. I find ways to eat more foods that nourish me. They also happen to be foods I like such as apples, bananas, whole grains, and fish. I also want to admit I don’t go to the gym to work out. Instead, I like to use walking as a form of exercise. Taking care of yourself isn’t just about restricting yourself, it’s about adding things to your daily life that benefit you.

Make Time for Joy

When thinking about self-care, consider what you want. What makes you happy? It could be spending time with people you love, a walk in the park, or watching your favorite TV show. Whatever it is, make more time to do things you enjoy. Having fun is self-care. There is a saying: “Work hard, play hard.” We forget the last part, but I encourage you to have more fun in life.

Nurture Fulfilling Relationships

I spent a lot of time talking about things you can do for self-care. But I didn’t want to end without discussing relationships. While self-care is about you, the relationships you have matters too. Who are the people in your life that pour into you? Can you think of one person? When I ask who is pouring into you, I want to know people who support, uplift, and appreciate you. We need to make more time for people like that.

A Final Word on Self-Care

The most powerful way to keep your cup full is through self-care. It is an act of self-love when you take care of your overall health. Start with prioritizing adequate sleep, eating healthier foods, and exercising regularly. Then, make time for activities that bring you joy and surround yourself with uplifting people. By doing these things, you are keeping your cup full. Now, you can pour into others without being emptied. So, what will you do today to start filling your cup?

What Do You Owe Yourself?

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It’s often easier to focus on what others owe you. But what do you owe yourself? This question invites you to look inward and reflect on your needs. If something as small as a plant has several needs, then how much more do you need? Fulfillment begins with self-awareness and a commitment to your emotional well-being. So, what do you owe yourself? Let’s start there.

Fulfillment Starts with You

What do you need to feel fulfilled in a relationship? Knowing the answer to this is one of the first things you owe yourself. When we feel unfulfilled, it is often due to a disconnection from our emotional needs. This disconnection may arise from being unaware of those needs, failing to communicate them, or choosing relationships that cannot fulfill them. In these situations, notice the common denominator: it’s ourselves. What role have you played in creating balanced and reciprocal relationships? Is it time to start giving yourself more of what you need?

Curiosity Over Judgment

We owe ourselves self-acceptance. Although we all have imperfections, they don’t make us less worthy. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you stop striving to be better; it’s about creating space for our strengths and weaknesses. Viewing your weaknesses as opportunities for learning and growth can be very helpful. You can do this by replacing every judgment you have about yourself with curiosity. What if you were more curious about your flaws? How could that help you see yourself in a more balanced way?

Your Best is Enough

I think too many people are way too hard on themselves. While I believe being accountable for your mistakes is important, I think we can give ourselves more grace. The grace to learn and make better choices. I don’t know anyone perfect because we all fall short in some ways. Our shortcomings remind us that we are human. Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress. Doing your best is enough.

You Can Handle the Truth

How honest are you about what you want and need? We all have standards, but we might not stick to them. Being flexible is a strength, but could it be holding you back from what you deserve? When we compromise our values, neglect our needs, or struggle to maintain boundaries, we may find ourselves settling for less than we want. Instead of judging yourself, be curious and honest about why this happens. Could it stem from low self-esteem, external pressure, impatience, or even past trauma? You may already know the answer, but are you ready to face it?

A Question to Consider

What do you owe yourself? Have you ever paused to think about that? If not, I invite you to take a moment and reflect. To help you get started, here are a few things you owe yourself: understanding, acceptance, grace, and honesty. You might want to add to this list or create your own. Whenever life feels confusing or overwhelming, remember to ask yourself this question. It might guide you back to where you want to be.

What Are You Ready to Heal?

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Whenever I got a cut and used rubbing alcohol to treat it, I would wince because of the burning sensation. It felt as if the healing process was more painful than the injury itself. The same can be true for emotional wounds. Sometimes, healing from our past is an uncomfortable experience. I believe some people avoid their pain because they’re not ready to face the discomfort. I empathize with you because I have been there. However, taking the first step toward healing requires us to feel the pain.

Acknowledge Your Hurt

I used to avoid thinking about hurtful experiences because I didn’t want to feel sad. But ignoring the way I felt was teaching me to avoid pain. It’s not about reliving the past but about understanding how it’s impacting you now. Have you ever just cried about what happened to you? You might believe not crying makes you a strong person. I want to challenge that by saying strength comes in many forms. A person who knows how to regulate their emotions is the kind of strength you want to have. Take a moment to acknowledge how sad, disappointed, or hurt you were because of what was done or said to you. Now, let’s release these emotions.

Healing Through Expression

When I think of an artist like Adele, I think about how she uses her music to process heartbreak. It made me wonder how healing it can be to express yourself through writing. You don’t have to write a song or perform in front of millions to release pain. You can start by writing a letter about how you feel and the impact of your experiences. You may even address the people who hurt you in the letter. Allow yourself to be raw, honest, and vulnerable. You don’t need to give the letter to the person to heal. Sometimes just writing the letter is enough to release the pain.

You Don’t Have to Heal Alone

Sometimes, we need someone to witness our pain before we can release it. Coregulation is about navigating your emotions with another person. It could be with a therapist, friend, or pastor. Sharing your story with someone who can hold space for it is essential. We don’t have to carry everything alone. Just as a surgeon is needed to stitch deep physical wounds, a therapist can help us process and heal trauma. If you are having a hard time letting go, consider reaching out to a trauma therapist for support.

Healing Takes Time and Commitment

You probably heard the saying time heals all wounds. If this statement is true, then it means the healing doesn’t happen overnight. Some experiences can take a lifetime to heal. I’m not saying this to discourage you but to help you keep things in perspective. Healing is a process that requires patience and commitment. How committed are you to healing your trauma? Some days are going to be tough, but are you willing to persevere to get to your breakthrough? Because on the other side of the pain is the power to overcome it.

The Power of Connection

While healing starts within, the relationships we have can significantly impact our healing journey. When you think about any painful experiences, who did you need, and what did you need at that moment? While we can’t change the past, we can learn from it. Sometimes, our past teaches us what we need by highlighting what we didn’t have. You probably learned from your past what your needs are, what boundaries to have, and what you truly desire. Now, you can use this insight to cultivate relationships that support your well-being. There’s no better feeling than having what you wanted in the past right now.

A Word of Encouragement

If you are reading this post, I want to say I am proud of you. The fact that you are ready to heal is a sign of how brave you are. If you’re not ready yet, I hope you will get there one day. I’ve been on both ends and have immense empathy for people who are on the journey and who aren’t quite ready yet. On the healing journey, I hope that you remember to express yourself, allow others to support you, and be patient with yourself.